Sunday, March 15, 2015

There's always a new day, except when tomorrow is just like yesterday.

I'm now gain fully employed. I'm the new NW (if you can't figure out what NW means please pull your head out of you ass, take deep clean breath of fresh air and make it your last) Devinci demo/ tech rep. Basically I'll be doing the same thing I've done for the last two years but different. It's a little the like the difference between light black and dark white. I'll see all of you somewhere and I'll be having a great time, so please find me, say hi and hi-five a senior citizen, because those that don't understand the past are doomed to repeat it.

Happy Burfday

This is what it looks like when you drive to Eugene with a crew of dirtbags for your friends 38th birthday.

Happy birthday Derek, I hate you les every day.

Sent from the past.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

I'm funemployed in Montana drinking PBR solo while watching "Man From Snowy River". I've had a lot of time to think in the last few weeks. I've come to the conclusion that Eddy Merkin is slipping. There hasn't been a titties and beer night in what seems like decades. I can't even remember the last time one of the crew was kicked out of a bar.

Basically we created this group to constantly poke fun at adults, success, etc, etc, etc, but we've become our own tongue in cheek joke. I think '15 is the year to punch ourselves in the face! See you fuckers somewhere and hopefully you'll have a beer in your hand, a crooked grin on your face and a twinkle in your eye that's make it hard to figure out if your drunk or just looking into the future and picturing all the bad ideas that have yet to come. Here's to a new year and old mistakes!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Who's currently drinking vegan Jell-O shots at the bar on the scenic path to blackout town, it's me! Tomorrow I'm gong to wake up somewhere between early/late afternoon and late/early morning and see some of you at the fresh pot at high noon. Tomorrow is N.O.I.S.E. and you need to realize whether you want to be part of the problem , part of the solution or part-e. Not sure about you but I'd rather be remembered for bad decisions I've made than forgotten for great ideas. I'll see you tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

We're back bitches!

So we took a bit of a hiatus from this shitty blog to try and make a cool adult type website instead of polishing this turd. Guess what we found out,we suck at being anything other that ourselves. Lucky for you guys (I'm pretty sure no chicks read this literary trash pile) our shitty, unfiltered, short-sighted, vomit of words is actually pretty funny. So please come back sometime in the near to far future and waste some of your employers time and money.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Mind Grenade

Hey kids you're going to want to grab a towel for this one because after you use it to clean up whats left of your melted face and your mind explodes you're probably going to want to jerk off, yeah it's that good! For anyone watching this that doesn't ride bikes you'll be amazed. For anyone that does ride you will realize how fucking insane this whole video is. Most riders could make a living from a 5 second clip of this video but this guy fucks with your head for 3 minutes. I think I might report it to Myth Busters because this whole video is unreal. Enjoy and don't feel weird if you get turned on it's natural.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Text Mex

This gem is from the same person as the text mex on 12/31
'Someone' went out for their roommate's birthday last night and celebrated a little too 'someone' is watching the Super Bowl in the fetal position on the couch...that 'someone' is me...

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Eddy Merkin is stepping up its game in 2013 and were going to start running merch. Here's our first offering, custom Eddy Merkin carbiners. They're not climbing they're for partying!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Text Mex

"Are you touring in the bear cave or whatever your weird van is called?"

Monday, December 31, 2012

Text Mex

At a concert and security confiscated my road soda...I am officially the youngest looking 30 year old ever...happy NYE!

Friday, December 28, 2012


In an effort make the readers of this blog a little less stupid I give you this.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Cuntry Western Wednesdays

Watch the videos below and realize that you have a long road ahead of you before you're even half as badass as either of of the first two people. The good thing is this site is a great place to start.  

 This is Hank 3's tribute GG Allin. 




 This is GG Allin  




This is message from Bourbon Crow by way of Eddy Merkin!

Thursday, November 22, 2012


Lets forget that this holiday is based on the fact that the Indians saved the unprepared pilgrims from starving by showing up with a feast of corn, turkey etc and in return we started a mass germicide that has been all but forgotten by modern America. Done with being a Debby Downer here's what we're thankful for: League of Leagues, tubeless tires, Sandy Ridge, 4x4 vans, aluminum, carbon, steel, ball bearings, suspension, flat bar cross bikes, Pabst, whiskey, tri-Allen's, torque wrenches, strip clubs, freedom, Jell-O shots, 40s, Slayer, burn outs, jumps, pump tracks, Team Robot, Malice, the internets, etc!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Cuntry Western wednesdays

Yep it's that time again where I post shit until lose motivation.

First off this song is about 1/3 of my dream a sailboat. The other 2/3s are a 4x4 van and a helicopter respectively. I also appreciate how he takes a horse onto his boat. It's that kind of out of the box thinking that makes Eddy Merkin seem reasonable.

"Pass me the bottle" pretty much sums up my day. Maybe a little more rockabilly, but it's all from the same place.

Found this gem.

Yep that dude. His other hits include "Lawyers, guns and money" as well as "Werevolves of London"

Fuck Youtah

This is an actual news story from Utah which proves that people in Utah are boring and stupid, Except for my friend Parker and Capt Ron. Here is the best part: "Adults in the neighbor hood looked inside but did not see any candy"

Rape Van Rock


Rape Van Hip Hop

Friday, September 21, 2012

Text Mex

This week has been a gold mine for text mex. I'm suspecting it has to to with lack of sleep and excess alcohol consumption.
"Gonna lay pipe in the room, keep er empty.."

Text Mex

"I am bouncing with tht big boobed mama!"